Letter(s) from Alex Santiago

 

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Letter 1

Hello cathy

Heavens know that I really want to be with you all my life, I think about u all the time, hour, minute and second of the day.. but as far as i am concerned and as far as your message insinuates, i think this is a way of EITHER telling me you dont trust me, OR you cant go on with this(helping me realize my dream of being with the one i love and the one who has shown me affection). you seem not to TRUST me... all that i have told you here is just true.... i cannot be so heartless to make you go through a bitter experience..... i think I really understand your message and as a matter of fact i wasnt expecting something like this..this reminds me of what a friend used to say ..."Shit Happens".... you are the only one that i have got at this time... I don't know if this has been destined to happen to me..But you have your own life as I do have my own. I take these hard times of my life as that i am just a jinx. I am so frustrated... I want u to know that whatever you are doing I hope you are having fun. I take that you are a very special and gifted person... i want you to remember the nice time we have shared together here, and the sweet words we have said to each other, also remember how much i have opened my heart to you and share all my feelings with you, while you take your decisions. As you have already being told and believe that am a fraudster which am not! . I don't care what your friends or others say about me, if only they know how i feel for you and also the situation i am presently,(Because they are the ones closest to you right now) but the bottom line is that someone here,despite the harsh condition and stress, loves,cherishes and cares a great deal about you... I am only here as a chatting friend. I know that you say you love me but they are just words on a screen. I have to tell you that I have cherished the time we have had together on here. I hope your life is filled with love and care that u deserve so much. What I am trying to say is that I am letting you go because u deserve the best and not me. You have your own dreams,... make them sweet dreams for yourself. I so much want to be a part of it, but I won't be there in them with you. I want you to find someone that will love you as much as I do, May all your dreams come true and you get the much needed love you deserve....it hurts but am sorry i ......LOVE FOREVER... i want you to always have this in mind, i have loved you ever since we met and i have had so much hope and faith in you to turn my love life around, i always have you in my mind every hour,minute and second of my life... i was prepared to spend the rest of my life with you, i was prepared to give you my all to let you know how much i loved you, my heart was longing for your touch, your care and your love, until this happened to me, the time i needed you most....but i want you to know i am in this world to always love you..... then you will realise you have just lost the best man you can ever get on earth. I wish you all the best and wish you Love. I am saying this from the bottom of my heart... take care and may God be with you. I will mend in due time.

Please take care of yourself. I am letting u go because I Love You too much to keep this inside me. I want to be with u so bad but i know it will never happen so plz will you let me go......You mean everything in the world to me. I am hurting right now saying good bye to you.....Remember this that i will

keep you in my heart for ever.

Love you always.bye.

Col. Alex

Letter 2

My dearest love..You are so compassionate....
That's one of the many things I love about you.
You brighten my days and warm my nights with thoughts of you.Hunnie I can't wait to make memories together.
I cherish you,your thoughts,your love for me.I didn't think that I was ever going to be so lucky.You have giving me so much wonderful feelings of the love you have for me.I have not had feelings like this ever.I promise to always be kind,caring,understanding and loving.I have always dreamed of a woman as yourself.I think of you so much hunnie and our lives together are going to rock....You are my love,friend,my one and only.I want so much to always be there for you.I could never hurt you cause I love you.Sometimes I dream about being happy with you.
I value your decision respect you and most importantly adore you MY LOVE...

Letter 3

Hello My Cathy
I sit here in sorrow, wishing I could hold you. I've realized that I've tried to replace you over and over since I made the foolish decision to leave you. But, no one can make me laugh and smile like you do. You are the only one that ever made me so happy. No one could ever take your place. I feel as if my soul has stolen my heart and left me to cry myself to sleep each and every minute with guilt in my heart of how I hurt you. I guess you just don't realize what you have until it's gone. I was so stupid to leave you. I know sorry is just a word, but for what it's worth I am very sorry and I beg with every ounce of my soul please forgive me!.
I know that I'm not perfect but I know that I don't want to give you up. I have waited too long to hold you in my arms. I know that we belong together. I love you a lot and I know that you know that. I guess I just need to vent and let you know how I feel. Please don't take my venting the wrong way. I do love you and don't want to break up with you. That would just make me even more imperfect than I already am.
so much has happened in these past few hours, all the arguments and everything seems as if it's happening because time runs by us and we don't have much time with each other due to the misunderstanding. I just wanted to tell you that no matter what has happened, I still love you with my entire heart, and I know that these misunderstandings don't mean anything more than just arguing at that very moment. With all this, you seem to think I don't love you anymore and I know I haven't been showing it to you either. However, from this day on, I'm going to try harder to become a better person, and not be so adamant about everything, because last night I realized that you are the most important person in my life and that if I continue like this, I may just lose the love we share. Anyways, I'll end now, with much love, trust and with confidence to become a better person from now onwards. I think about you everyday minutes. When I am with you online, you light up my life. You are the best thing that has ever happened to me and I wish upon a star for you to return back by my side. The love that I hold for you in my soul is greater than an ocean or the sky above.
Please forgive me for all the hurt that I have caused you. Please, I beg of you to forgive me and return back to me like the way that it was meant to be. I love you, and I always will until the day that I die. Hopefully, when that day comes, I will still have you by my side and you will be the last angel face that I see. I will be able to hold you in my arms one last time, and tell you how much I love you and how much you really mean to me. I love you!
I made the choice to let you go in the worse possible way, I screwed up so very badly and I don't blame you for never wanting to speak to me and for hating me as much as you probably do right now. You said some pretty nasty things to me but I don't hold it against you. I probably would have said worse in your case, you know me! I'm broken, remember?
I'm sorry that I was such a jerk. I remember when you told me more than once to let go and let you love me. I never listened and kept my stupid guard up. I'm sorry! I really wanted to go to the zoo, I will forever drink peach iced tea so it can remind me of you. I will always have our shooting stars to remind me. Do you want to know what my wish was? I wished that I would never be stupid enough to let you go, but I did! I'm sorry....
Many things have happened in the past few hours, and many things have changed. It doesn't matter how much time has gone by. Time could never make my feelings for you weak or fade away. Now when we are back together to give us one more chance. to Love, trust, understanding, affection, honesty, tolerance and loyalty are key factors for a successful relationship. Every time I think of you my hearst misses a beat. You're my theme for a dream last night! Every moment we share together we grow closer. I'm simply hanging by a moment, waiting to see you again so you can hold me sooo tight that all else fades.
I love you! Hugs & Kisses!
Love Always,Col. Alex

Letter 4

Dear Angel,

We have been friends for not a long time now. Every time spent with you online is like a wonderland of new surprises. I have sat back, watched, and listened to you fall in love so many times. If you only knew that there is a true love here for you. One that will never die or grow tired. You make me feel brand new when i get a in box from you is like being lifted into heaven. But these are words I will always never say, and so I will just continue to love you.

As I sit here and think about you and what you and I have been though, I see that I can only love you more and more every day. You're my inspiration each and every day. You are what keeps me going when I just want to give up. You are my meaning for life and love. I love the way that you love me, in each and every touch and kiss. I wouldn't know what to do if I didn't have you. You're a dream come true.

My wish for you is that you could feel all the passion and love that I carry around in my heart and soul for you. You have won my love and soul. You have gotten it all, even my heart. You make me feel like I am in heaven in the arms of an Angel. You and I have an amazing relationship, but as it goes on I wonder which is it ... friends or lovers? That is our uncertainty. We've been friends for a while and now the friendship isn't that anymore for me. I have fallen in love with you and don't know how to tell you ... tell you that I am your soul mate masquerading as your best friend.

When I was a little boy, I dreamed of that one person that I would share my dreams, happiness and energy with ... I could not see her face but she was there. I always felt like she was out there, I just needed to feel her. I visualized the bond we would have and the courage she would give me to endure life's obstacles. All these years I was with wrong person, and feeling my way through life, learning lessons that later on would prepare me to become the person that I am now. I have felt alone and sad. Then one day my eyes opened and I became that little boy again ... realizing that she is here now. Here in my world was the woman that I had dreamed of and I'd hoped would not miss our meeting in life ... that woman is you.

You are the reasons for my smiles. You are the reasons for my tears, and the reasons for my fears. You, my love, are the reason I wake up each day, and sleep each night. You are my reason for living my life. You, my love, are the only reason for my happiness. I want you; I need you; I love you! Life would be incomplete without you now. Life would be unbearable. You have given me your love and now I give you my heart. It is yours do with as you may, but remember, my love, it's for always!!

Love always,
Col. Alex.

Letter 5

My Sweetheart

I don't know how to start this letter, because I'm afraid it might be the end of our good acquaintance, or if I'm lucky, the realization of my dreams, which is for you to love me as I love you. I told myself I might as well take the risks because it's the only remedy I know that could unburden this feeling I've been keeping ever since.

I just had to let you know that these last two days without so much as talking to you has given me a lot of time to think about how I feel about you. I have decided that I am definitely, hopelessly in love with you. What made me realize this is not so much that I think about you all the time, though I do. It was how I think about you. Not only do I think about how much I love you, but why, how much, and mostly do I deserve to be loved by you.

I love you. I know you'll find it hard to believe me if I tell you now how much you mean to me. I could hardly understand what I feel for you, knowing how to endure those long sleepless nights just thinking only of you. I've never been like this before. I just don't know how to pour out my feelings for you. I wanted to find the perfect words to make you realize how much I need you and love you, but words continue to elude me, what would they be? Something poetic? I'm sure it should be heartfelt and out of the ordinary.

It just feels so lucky to finally be able to love you like I have been wanting to for so long. Your sweet messages leave me speechless with each message. What have I done to deserve this? And that is another thing I was thinking - It is a little too strange, I think, that we are so right for each other. Some might want to argue this, but I have a few examples for those poor misguided souls. You are like a world-famous painting. When we chat, it is like two lost puzzle pieces finally discovered after a 10 year search to make the puzzle complete. When we chat online with each other, time seems to stand still. When I check my yahoo messenger I see you i know that the love in my heart is reflecting to your own is what i believe.

I just hope you read this email. You know I've tried every other thing to tell you how I feel about you except the phrase: "I love you." I'm doing this to avoid you being embarrassed. I can say I'm not 100% sure you feel the same way as I do, but I know that existed in the past. Maybe the distance between us now is making things more difficult. However, I believe, my love, that if by coincidence you read this mail, you know I am saying this to you. I love you and always will. I can't help but tell you this.

How I wish words could express the thoughts that I have towards you. If I should say I love you then the greater percent of my words are still unexpressed. But of course, I must say something ... my heart beats for you, and my heart longs for you.

No one in this world knows the feeling that I get when I read message from you. They have no idea about what you get my body to do when I saw one inbox with your name or read your sweet messages of yours. Nobody has ever made me feel like the way you make me feel and that is such a crazy feeling. It feels like I just want to grab you and be in your arms forever and forever and never let go. I want to kiss your lips and never end - just keep going.

Here I go allowing all to know that I have a desire and want to be closer to you. You are a really great person that has allowed me to realize a lot of things in life. I appreciate and thank you dearly. I'm here and always will be. All you have to do is e-mail me, and you know I'll reply. i promise to show you true love, something no one has ever done.

Every time I think about you, it gives me more and more strength with which to carry on my life. It makes me happy to be alive knowing that you have came into my life and all I know is that I want to be with you!

All of this tells me one thing ... our love is real !.

With all my love,
Col. Alex

 

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